Today I found as the day went on, the clouds rolled in and my mood languished. I don’t normally give way to such feelings but for some reason, I can’t seem to get over them. I am whiling away the day, doing nothing, not even laundry. I could call friends to see what they are up to, maybe join them for dinner, a drink or movie but my lackluster state held me captive. My husband is in the city, not feeling well – out of sorts himself.
I had woken early, fluffed off going to my yoga class, poured a cup of coffee and turned my computer on. Revved up my Stylus Photo 1800R Epson printer, selected an image that my granddaughter Sara liked of herself and sized it to a 10×10″. Decided to print on 11×14 German Etching paper but the rollers didn’t want to grab on to the edges. Attempted to feed the sheet through the back… nada. Hmmmmmmm, okay, the paper is thicker than the recommended Epson Matte and I’ve had trouble like that before. Slipped the Epson presentation matte paper on the feeder and hit print. For some reason, the color management wouldn’t allow me to make certain selections (i.e. type of paper. print speed and whether PhotoShop or the printer would color manage the process.
First I printed through PhotoShop, then I printed through InDesign. Still couldn’t get the selections I needed and the prints came out banded.
My feeble attempts at trouble shooting led me to email Jene a SOS plea. Outdated software might be the issue. He walked me through step by step and I downloaded the upgrade. Click print – same issue. I also, at his suggestion, checked the print head alignment. There doesn’t look like any problems with that. Trying not to frustrate either I us, I ended the conversation with I’ll put a call into Epson support tomorrow. Thinking “put your hands up and step away from the computer”. So I did.
Hours spent and nothing to show for it. That’s when the cloud of gloom seemed to really take hold of me. A cold cup of coffee sat waiting for me to pick it up and the dampness and chill of the house blanketed me. I went into the living room and nestled some wood in the fireplace and set it ablaze. Warmth quickly filled the room, I nuked my coffee and sat and stared for what seemed like a few minutes but actually was an hour. My mind drifted, a melancholy washed over me. So I did what anyone would do… I shot myself… okay maybe only a photographer would do that – I recorded my ‘inner sanctum’ alone in my mood.
I certainly wasn’t going to let my feelings go to waste. I haven’t added any self portraits to my Inner Sanctum body of work in years. It’s a listless, loneliness that I couldn’t shake, not like the cloud of depression on the Abilify commercials, just a ho-hum kind of melancholy. A quiet solitude, a reflective mood where I sink into my feelings of longing.
My mood lifted, being creative works like a charm. I really like these 3 images. 😉
Alls well that ends well… now where’s that basket of laundry.